I’ve spent a lot of time carrying around unwanted burdens. I often feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders as I navigate my own life experience and come up against the stories of suffering in others. This can create a deep sadness in me. I can feel alone and often wish I was wired differently.

Thanks to my brother in law, I’ve discovered rucking. For those of you who don’t know what it is, it involves walking with a weighted back pack. Choosing my weights, I can carry whatever load I’m up for. I pick how heavy my burden is for the day and if I do say so myself, I’m becoming one mother rucker.

If only choosing our burdens were that simple. If only we could rise up in the morning and decide what was worth carrying around then take off the weighted emotions when we were ready. It may not be we can accomplish this exactly, but as I come to know myself even better, I know some burdens just aren’t mine to carry.

I know certain paths to take to help keep my head clear. I choose not to watch dark movies that highlight the worst of human nature. I avoid the news and have learned the right type of news will land in my space without searching for it.

I live in such a way where I’m constantly aware of the tracks I leave behind, mindful others might be paying attention to my actions. Our tracks can tell people who and what we are, even where we are headed. I have never wanted to add to someone’s burden if I can live with discipline and thoughtfulness. I don’t always get it right, but I’m trying harder to let go of the weight in healthier ways.

Some people can place things in our path to disrupt our harmony, to add to our burden or to make us change our course. It’s even more important to me now to know myself well enough to know what I can carry so I can be the best I can to those who need me most.

I’m watching my weight.

This time, no scale is necessary. I can pack on the pounds I choose . . . and ruck on.